Culmination

Since my last post I've poured everything I have into preparing for my next Ironman. Los Cabos gave me the mental fortitude to forge ahead believing this is exactly where I should be and what I should be doing. It's only human to allow bits of that endless mind chatter, often full of self doubt, to creep in when battling through injury.  While Ironman Los Cabos answered many of the questions I had about my future in the sport, it left some unanswered. Driven by hope and unfulfilled aspirations a new  optimism and excitement took over.
It was hard for me to sit down and write race reports about all the races I've done since Los Cabos.  I live for racing! However the past few months each race was simply a building block towards the fitness we were building for late season racing. Well....here we are. 1.5 weeks away from an Ironman that captured my heart last year.  There is something special about this race. Something deep inside my body and mind that has fueled me for the past year.  12 sleeps!! I can't wait to unleash once the cannon blows.

Lost of history at this race!
Love ya Molina!

Here is a quick recap of what I've been up to in my lead up to Ironman Louisville:

Wildflower Triathlon is a race I haven't done in years. I absolutely adore the Cal Tri organization and was excited to get out there and race again after Cabo. Tim tried to prepare me mentally for what would unfold on the race course. Despite his efforts and daily doses of honesty  I wasn't prepared for what ensued.  I was devastated after this race. I wanted to improve upon the past! Tim on the other hand figured this is exactly how things would go. Now that I look back I could care less - I mean what can you really expect when race prep included a stop at the gym, before driving down to the race site, to complete a strength session that included leg pressing 400+ lbs.

Photo Credit: Paige Dunn, Fuel Media Collective

Next up was a bucket list race: Escape from Alcatraz.  If someone wanted to put together a race requiring me to tackle my biggest race weaknesses this would be it. Top two on that list: 1) short race distance, 2) cold (I don't know that I can even prioritize these. They might tie for #1). Shockingly neither of these prevented me from actually enjoying the race experience. It really is a race like none other, and to compete amongst the stacked pro field was an honor.

Somehow we all got a clean start despite diving in on top of
each other.  Red arrow points towards me.

I have a lot of development to go if I ever dream of racing this distance...thankfully I don't. Bucket list race - check.

Next, it was off to Texas for Buffalo Springs70.3. I have a lot of great memories from this race, but it's been 7 years since I last raced there. WOW how time flies! The race still holds onto the grass roots feeling that few Ironman branded races have anymore. Mike and Marty (race directors) put on quite a show once again! The conditions made for a tough battle. Temps soared while the wind howled and threw all of us around. I've never had windy conditions affect a run like it did here. Overall I was surprised that my race didn't go better.  I swam ok, biked horrendously awful, and left quite a bit to be desired out on the run course. I returned home very discouraged and in search of answers.

Photo Credit: Paige Dunn, Fuel Media Collective

There wasn't time to dwell on the past. I immediately got back to work putting in a strong training block before Vineman70.3, two weeks later. I can't tell you how many texts, calls and emails I sent to Tim telling him that I didn't want to race Vineman.  Talk about "out of the ordinary!" I always want to race.  Tim has really kept the reigns tight and limited my travel and racing this year.  I just wanted to keep training hard and skip this one, but he demanded I shut up and put up. Off to Vineman I went.
Once there I put on a smile and was instantly reminded why this is one of my all time favorite races. Much to my surprise I put together a decent day and certainly improved upon where the chips fell just 2 weeks prior. I picked an unfortunate line for the swim, and could feel my arms burning from the beginning. One too many 6k training sessions in the weeks prior perhaps? I rode the bike blind, going by feel only. Things seemed to be clicking better than they had in Texas. Then, I finally had a strong run, and with it my confidence and spark were back.
A post race interview with Freeplay Magazine here. (Thanks guys for chatting with me and continuing to support me through the ups and downs).
While Vineman was by no means magical, it was a step in the right direction. This was all I longed for as my journey towards the next Ironman drew a bit closer.
With one giant training block still to go I decided to go visit my brother in his beautiful new home up in Bend, OR. Not to let the secret out of the bag, but this was hands down the best place I've ever trained! I can't thank you enough Matthew for playing host as I swam, biked and ran myself silly. While I struggle to forgive him for leaving me in San Francisco, I can't deny the beauty of Bend!

Enjoying a nice escort for my ROKA open water swims. 

Mental thought when I snapped this pic: gratitude! 

What a difference a clean, smooth operating
machine makes! Matthew, you're hired!

The amount of Clif nutrition I went through was astonishing! 

The aftermath of my QT2 Ironman overload training block. 

There you have it. That is where I've been, and what I've been up to. Ironman is a race that demands absolute heart, grit and determination.  The training is relentless, and nothing happens over night. It's been 4.5 months since my last Ironman. I can't wait to get to Louisville next week and take in the inspiring race course crowds and support. Despite an epically trying day there last year I the IM community pushed me to the finish line. It left a profound mark on my spirit, so hopefully this year I can actually give 'em a something cheer about.
It's all about the journey...

Validación en México

Remember back to the days when Oceanside70.3 was known as "Ralphs? Racing there meant staring your season very early. Or if you wanted to kick off your season with an early Ironman, Cour D'Alene had your name all over it.  How things have changed. With the constant addition of more international racing comes the opportunity to race earlier, and earlier.  After a significant amount of time off last year I really wanted to start off the 2014 season with an early Ironman. That said, Tim and I were in agreement (even though he had to remind me of this almost daily) that Ironman Los Cabos was simply about execution. It was time to crawl into a bubble, and race my own race.  This would serve as a stepping block to my season, and nothing more.  That isn't to say that I didn't put a LOT into my preparation- it was just limited due to the significant (and very worthy) time I took off last year.  Ultimately, the entire point of this race was to realize I can race again.  Ironman Los Cabos was just as much about the mental exercise as it was physical.

An absolutely beautiful day for an Ironman! 

I took full advantage of the early sunlight and ability to get in a lengthy warm up.  By the time we lined up I was very ready for the splash and dash to come.  I've been working really hard on my swim! While it's never been a weakness of mine, I surely haven't been swimming up to my potential. It was unacceptable and I've been determined to change this.  I never thought I'd love swimming at 5am as much as have this winter, but thanks to some amazing training partners these freezing -and very dark- mornings have been my favorite sessions over the past few months. I owe so much to Paul and the Terrapins swim squad.  Love these kids!  I've paid the piper, and it was time for things to fruition on race day!

Our last training session before I left for Mexico.
Thank you Coach Paul for adopting me into your clan!

The women's pro field was glittered with great swimmers. Time to test myself.

There was a lot of uncertainty amongst the pro's for the swim course.
We spent the 3 minutes before the start trying to figure out where the
1st turn buoy was. Collectively we decided to just aim for the rising sun.  

Countdown to the 2014 Race season. Tres.... Dos... Uno.... VAMANOS!

Let's DO THIS! 

ROKA Swim: Name of the game for me: get off the line! I fought for position, and without panic (finally) won the fight.  My heart rate soared, but I was ready for it. I've visualized and mentally worked through this moment countless times over the last few months.  I know if I can get out with the front pack I can hang for 2.4 miles.  I had zero visibility of the first turn buoy but could see the ever so speedy Hailey Chura about 15 meters ahead. I put my head down and fought to try to catch back up before the turn. "Turnover, turnover, turnover" I reminded myself. When we hit the turn buoy I had closed the gap to about 10m.  I gave a quick look to see that I had 3 girls hanging onto my feet. This was the last time I did so. "Focus on yourself CG. No one else matters. Do what YOU need to do."  I again tried to sprint 20 strokes to see if I could close in on Hailey and Katy Blakemore. No luck.  Just then I was joined by Carrie Lester on my right.  We swam stroke for stroke for the next 1.5mi+. It was nice to have company at the front of the chase pack so I could enjoy a bit of the draft.

The swim course wasn't "self explanatory" nor marked according to Ironman standards (buoy color or shape differences between the straight sight buoys and turn buoys). I took one wrong turn and just like that was off on my own. "Don't settle CG. Attack. Now. Do what it takes!"  I immediately put in a sprint to get back with Carrie. Yes, the fitness was there and I knew I was swimming strong. Props to her for some spectacular sighting! I tucked in on her feet to get a short deprive before we headed for the shore. I exited to hear I was 4 minutes down on Hailey. Success! The clock read :52.  While both Tim and I feel I can swim faster, we were happy with task #1 of the day.
PS: I can't help but add that my ROKA suit is without a doubt the best suit I've ever worn. The difference in flexibility and floatation is huge!

Locked and Loaded!

Scott, Vision Bike: I jumped onto the bike with excitement and confidence. I immediately started my QT2 fueling and created the tunnel vision I needed to execute my race plan.  The race plan provided by Tim is by far the most detailed I've had. Every single mile of the 140.6 course was accounted for.  There was room for decision making, but ultimately came down to executing what my training said I was ready for. I struggled a bit to get my heart rate and power up, but never panicked. I had mentally gone over every imaginable situation and developed a strategy for dealing with it.

My plan for a slow start on the bike was to start taking caffeine 40minutes earlier than planned. This got things rolling again, and I could tell I was starting to reel in a few of the girls who rode away from me in the early miles.

Approximately 80minutes into the bike, while flying down one of the hills, I hit a monstrous hole in the road. Bam. Crack. "oh crap, what just happened." Suddenly I felt like I was sitting a foot lower than I should be. My saddle had completely tilted forward and felt like it was barely hanging onto the rails. Keep calm. While I didn't exactly have a preset plan for dealing with this particular mechanical problem I knew all I needed was an allen wrench. I tried to wave down several mopeds but they either didn't have tools, or didn't speak English. "Allen wrench"-despite my infamous stories from passing 4th semester Spanish at UofM I had no clue how to say that in Spanish (money well spent mom and dad!).  Keep calm. After 30miles of hovering over my saddle without being able to really sit on more than a mm of it, I decided I might just have to ride the rest of the way like this. Trying to flag down mechanical assistance was only causing stress and slowing me down. I never considered stopping. The only option seemed to keep riding sans saddle.
Finally around mile 70 word had spread that the girl in bright pink/teal needed tools. I stopped and adjusted my saddle. Garmin says I spent 11 minutes not moving trying to resolve things.  I didn't focus on the time I lost with the debacle, but instead focused on what I could control.  Staying in the NOW is one of the hardest parts of racing, but there is tremendous gains to be made in mastering this (while I'm not even close to a master at this it is something I work on daily). "Head down girl. Pick it up. Power. Speed. Heart rate. Up, Up, UP!" At the last turn-around the splits I was getting on the girls ahead showed I was making up ground. At least I wasn't going backwards anymore.
Nutrition is a large piece of the puzzle for every athlete tackling Ironman racing. QT2 Systems treats nutrition as the important element that it is, and I applaud them for this. My Clif powered plan worked and kept me on track to execute the 26.2 miles to come.  I tried to limit the amount of Gatorade I needed from the course (it lacks sufficient sodium for hot races) and therefore relied on Speedfil standard on my drop tube and A4 on my aero bars to execute our plan to perfection. 10 bottles of sports drink, a new record for me.

Moment of Truth Garmin Run: Going into the race Tim and I talked about my limited durability and run fitness. I struggled (up until about 12 hours before the race) to accept this. When given all out runs (5k, mile repeats, hard 4miles at end of long run) I proved I can run fast.  I love running fast! I miss running fast! After constant mental drilling Tim finally convinced me that a few months of run training wasn't enough to power me to a new run PR. Yes, again (and again) he reminded of our goal and agreement for this race: prove you can race pain free and without limitations.  TRUST!

As is typically the case for me I ran well off the bike. My patience was tested early.  There were several out and backs along the  3 loop course allowing me to get splits on those ahead of me. Within the first lap I had passed 2 girls and was closing on others.  I stuck strictly to our nutrition plan, all the while willing myself closer to the back half when I could start drinking Coke.  My stride felt strong, and turn over was well over 90rpm.  I threw as many cups of water as I could over my head and was able to keep my heart rate from soaring with the mercury in the thermometer.

Tim's bit of advice for the later part of the run was harsh, but also very honest: "Caroline, you aren't fit to run a full marathon right now. You need to trick yourself by power walking a few aid stations." I wanted nothing to do with this concept, but he knew best.  Trust and patience were tested again. I gave myself to mile 16 before I'd power walk a few steps at every other aid station.  Sure enough around mile 17 my quads began rejecting the idea of 9 more miles.  I passed Mackenzie Madison and with it picked up a little more confidence. It's been a long time since I've run a marathon like this.  Top 10 is within reach. Keep digging! My legs were throbbing, but my feet were a-ok!  The pain I felt was almost a sick sense of pleasure for me.  You see, there is a difference between the natural pain that comes from Ironman racing and the pain I've endured in the past several IM attempts. This I could deal with.

When I passed mile 20 I wondered if I could pull off a sub 3:20 run split. I visioned our training camp, and all the physical and mental pain we battled through there. I imagined being done with a training day and then getting the call from Jesse that we had a surprise 10k race.  Just when I thought I was done and couldn't do another workout, I would and could pull off a strong 10k. "Get after it Caroline. You're finally able to race again, and you will race every single last step of this course. 10k in 3- 2- 1...."
Close a 3-4 minute gap and I could pick off 2 more girls. Come on legs.  I wanted to get closer to 7:00 miles more than anything, but sadly the legs just didn't have it in them. I pushed as hard as I could. I left everything out there! I crossed the line thinking I finished 10th, but later found out I was one spot shy. That didn't matter. That wasn't my focus. This day was about a much larger vision! Mission accomplished. My eyes welled up with contentment, and finally a smile made it's way to my face. I AM BACK!

I can't thank Tim enough for his helping hand in bringing me back from the dead. Together we've clawed our way out of the (deep) trenches. Passion can preserver, as can persistence. Our QT2 training camp played a big part in this race, so definitely have to commend and thank my teammates and coaches. Mad props to our Champion on the day, and teamy Linsey Corbin. You continue to amaze. Congratulations!

Top left: Haley Chura and I found a killer spot for a pre-race swim.
Top rt: LC bring home the bacon in dominating form!

To my sponsors: thank you from the bottom of my heart. It takes
character, commitment, and loyalty to see deep into my heart and provide
unwavering support despite the obstacles that stood before me. I am blessed to
be on this journey and can't wait to bring these brands to the top of the podium.
WE ARE BACK!

Camp to Cabo

My rear view mirror... The past 6 months...What a transformation!  Ironman Louisville is a distant memory, leaving behind only scrapes of motivation and passion to power me through the season ahead. The fact that I am even talking about an Ironman racing season is a complete applaud to those who encouraged me and reminded me of my resiliency!  I already praised Chris and Curtis, but I remain so thankful to have both of them in my court.  The baby steps we made together back in Oct-December has since equated to an ability to train without restriction. Now, my thirteenth Ironman awaits. Ironman Los Cabos, less than one week away.

Those who follow me on twitter have undoubtedly picked up on my decision to start working with QT2 Systems.  I approached QT2 founder Jesse Kropelnicki at a time when I was completely happy with my current coach.  Conversations with Jesse continued, and he also put me in touch with his side kick, Tim Snow.  They never tried to sell me on their way, but instead (with complete patience) offered me insight into their QT2 methodology.  Eventually I was ready to take the jump and go all in.  Five months later I can tell you this is one of the best decisions I've made thus far in my pro career.
Taking on an injured athlete is no small task, and WOW has Tim stepped up to the plate.  I'm not always the most patient athlete/person!  Not running for months (or one could argue 12+ due to my reliance on the Alter-G last season) meant I had a lot of fitness to rebuild.  We started completely over, from the ground up.  Before even considering fast running we retrained proper form and resiliency. Much attention has also been given to reconstructing my mental game and confidence. More on this later (as this continues to be a huge piece of the puzzle-and warrants an entire post).

The National Training center served as our base camp.
Every morning started with a swim session.

One of the draws to QT2 was the opportunity to be part of a team. I eagerly awaited immersion into the QT2 squad at our recent pro camp held in Clermont, Florida. I am just now coming up for air (literally!).

It was not easy for me to leave my life for 2 weeks and completely commit to triathlon. I arrived at camp grateful for this opportunity and eager to give it my ALL! The format was completely different from other camps I've been part of. We never knew what was coming next. We were told what time to meet the coaches, and from there often received the workout piecemeal.  Day one Jesse asked each of us to turn the thinking over to them.  They were our brains and we simply needed to execute accordingly.
I dealt with this pretty well until day 16.  My arms were fried when we were told to do 5x300 (swim) descend. After hitting a new 300 PR on number 5 the coaches told us we were doing it again.  Jaws dropped! I think there may have been tears. We were fried.  Don't think, just do. Off we went.  This is where I blew a gasket! Or as Linsey would say: I was SOTB: shot (or s%#%) off the back. They broke me, however this is something that each of us encountered at some point during our time there. Better now than race day, they reminded us.

Use caution when approaching a refrigerator shared by six
QT2 pro athletes! It was a constant battle to fuel and refuel!

Another important of the QT2 system is nutrition. My training nutrition has been revamped, big time!  While at camp I quickly learned that when any of the coaches asked if we "needed/wanted a gel" you don't question them. Open the hatch, take in the nutrition, and brace yourself for what's to come! I've never really struggled with race day nutrition, but have also never had a coach analyze my daily hydration/nutrition this closely.  Shocking considering an ironman is really 4 disciplines: swim, bike, run, nutrition. I have no doubt that this will transpire into more productive training and faster racing.

I applaud the coaches for coming up with workouts that varied substantially from other sessions I've done in the past. Yes, these workouts still rang to the QT2 beat- but they were unique to the camp atmosphere and specific to what they thought we needed. I can't thank Tim, Jesse, John and Tara enough for all the time they put into coaching us for these (long) 17 days. I often wondered who was more tired: coaches or athletes.  They gave us absolutely 100% of themselves. In turn I know this is what enabled us to respond with some pretty epic performances day in and day out. Thank you doesn't do justice for all they did for us during our time at camp. This program is legit, and I am happy to be under their wing.

THANK YOU John (not pictured), Tim, Jesse and Tara!

Having face to face time with Tim was extremely beneficial. I think he saw a little more grit in me, and learned more about how I tick.  I am already looking forward to the next opportunity to train along side my teammates and coaches.  In the end, they are great people and that is what drew me to them.
One our our biggest tests came on a day that would put my old injured self to the ultimate test. Simply running a marathon is something I once thought wouldn't happen again. That, after all, is the reason I finished IM Lville. Think again CG, think again!  We started the day at a dirt road for 13x1 mile at our goal IM race pace. We immediately followed this up with a 6k swim, and a very strong 4 hour ride. As my housemates and I gathered in the kitchen to decide how to gorge ourselves, in an effort to refuel for tomorrow, our phones started dinging. We all looked at each other- that could only mean one thing: another session. Hold the meal, and proceed to a trail head for another run session. Yes, another 13x1 mile descending pace.

(left)Jesse and Tim watch/analyze as we run off for mile repeat #10 of 13.  We finished off the marathon later that evening under the lights of head lamps. Thankfully we weren't attacked by alligators!

This day was a victory for all of us, but in my heart and head I knew exactly what this meant for me. I can do this...I am officially back and completely injury free!

I can't wait to cheer on my teammates this season. By the looks of things at camp, 2014 is bound to be one for the record books for this QT2 pro squad!

Ironman Los Cabos, here I come!

All In- Truth Be Told

Ironman Louisville was a race I targeted 2 years ago. I told everyone (including myself) that I didn't race there last year because I had just moved and started a new job. True, but not the whole story. Reality? Honesty? I was injured and after taking a break from running I didn't feel my running was strong enough to run the marathon I wanted. I rested, consulted some bay area foot docs, and got new orthodics. Once I started running again I thought this was behind me. I was running strong. Last winter I won two half marathons, even won a 10k, and placed in the top ten as an elite entry for a few very competitive road races. I was ready, my feet were ready. I took off for San Juan70.3 with great promise for what was ahead this year. To my surprise my forefoot pain came back (worse than ever). I was shocked and baffled. Together Molina and I managed the injury this year and I did everything in my power (with the help of many) to get ready to accomplish my goals at IMLville. This included 2-3 acupuncture appointments a week, weekly visits to Chris Matock (a.r.t. & grastin), and using an Alter-G treadmill for 90% of my runs (Thank you Muir Ortho and staff!). It's fair to say that managing this injury on top of training + full time job had me max'ed out, but it didn't get me down. I believed I was a-ok.
Molina and I discussed my strategy going into this race. We knew my feet had been a huge limiter all year, and the decision was made: I would treat IM Louisville as if it was my last ironman. My last ironman of the year, and quite possibly my last ironman ever. Every day I woke up and approached my preparation accordingly. I gave this race EVERYTHING!

Race Ready: After the ever-so-hectic race wake up a calmness overcame me as we sat waiting for the sky to eluminate enough for us to jump in. One of my best friends joined me in Louisville. She already knows how much I love her for being there, but I'll say it again: THANK YOU K!!!
TYR Swim:  People told me this swim is crazy hot, gross and dirty. Wasn't too hot for me, and didn't feel nearly as dirty as other IM's (IMAz?!?!). Poor visibility did mean having to sight right from the start vs relying on the bubbles ahead.  I didn't have much get up and go at the start and my feel for the water wasn't there. I knew this was simply the effect of only getting a 5min warm up so tried to calm down mentally. It was a mass pro start (men and women).  I swam for the far buoy with 2 guys. Side note- I hope next year all IM races will give the men and women a separate start as Kona now does. Fair and clean, it's all we're after.
Once we rounded the buoy (2500m to go) I felt like we were swimming into a current again. Dang, this won't be a fast swim, or so I thought. Just then another girl who had been on my feet came up next to me. With around 1500m to go my engine turned on. Now that's how swimming should feel! My stroke lengthened, my pull strengthened, and my breathing switched back to bilateral. Decision time: do I try to jump up to the next pack or stay put? I lifted my head up and didn't think there was enough ground to close the gap. Head down, finish strong. I knew several girls got a good jump on me from my pathetic starting speed, so I turned my focus to a quick transition.

Scott/Vision Bike: Out of transition the time clock showed 54minutes. Holla!! My time goal for this race is in check.  Time really doesn't matter, there were women ahead of me, and more behind me. Time to go. I felt great on the bike through mile 30. The rollers were fun and other than a quick mechanical (thanks bike tech for the moving allen wrench hand off) everything was clicking. The bike course is one stretch out to a 32mile loop that you do twice, and back. The wind was minimal, but the temps were soaring.
At mile 35 my feet started throbbing. No, no, NOOOOO God please not already! I stayed mentally calm and just tried to ignore it. Then shooting pain started in my right foot. I was however practically riding with one leg. Stay calm, eat, breath, it's a long day. Things remained the same until the end of loop one. Then just as the pain came on it was gone. Completely gone! I clearly remember this moment: "Thank you God, I promise I wouldn't take this for granted." I was off.
The roads were packed on the second loop. Age group athletes 4 wide. Some having conversations. I typically enjoy the company, but at times it got a bit dicey. I let out a few murderous yells along the way to get athletes to stay/move right (do age groupers not have/get blocking penalties?). I was flying by packs of athletes, and the only way around them was an oncoming car. Another penalty I'm not so sure all are aware of is crossing the middle of the road- yellow card. I got one at IM Wisco for trying to take the safe route around the herds. I turned the slight ciaos into a positive and remembered that this was better than riding completely solo without sight of another human being other than race refs.  Around mile 75 the pain returned and I simply tried to manage. Why is this happening on the bike. I've been completely fine in the weeks leading up to the race. Stay positive, push on.

Fast and furious T2 and I was on the hunt.

Oakley/Clif Run: Believe! I had a lot of ground to make up, and the race certainly got away from me on the bike, but this is an Ironman. Isn't over until mile 26.2 of this run. The run course is 2 times a long out and back. Crowds line the whole course, as did the sun and heat. The heat never got to me. Warm, cozy, and cramp free thanks to my assortment of Clif nutrition. Racing in this heat is easy compared to training in it. Catered service every mile! This is exactly why I chose to race here- hot and humid!
By mile 4 I had another reason to worry. Both feet were killing. Running on burning knives again. Complete disbelief. I really thought my running on the Alter-G and all the therapy I went through was enough. I did everything I could. I believed I came to this race ready to amaze myself. Mile after mile the dream died. By mile 7 I knew I'd only complete the first loop, find Kristin and go celebrate an amazing friendship instead of an amazing race. I was walking. By mile 11 tears filled my eyes. When I was running I was right on pace, but between those strong stretches were moments of slow moving/pitiful walking strides. This was devastating. Just then a team from IM Exec Challenge all jumped into the street behind me and yelled for me to get running. 2 blocks later, only 1/4 block before I would pull the plug, Patrick Evoe came cruising by on his way to take second behind Big Sexy. He reminded me that I'm not a quitter and forced me to start running. Thanks PE  just what I needed. By the time I saw Kristin I was back at 7:15 miles.
"Caroline, you need to go after this race as if it is your last." Molina's voice rang through. I realized I wouldn't be running again for a while, so I might as well head back out for another 13. "Last Ironman...for the season...or maybe ever." It was enough to keep me moving forward.
The second loop wasn't pretty, but it was inspiring. I couldn't believe the number of people who knew me out there and took the time to keep me going. I was in a world of hurt. By now my quads were on fire. I hadn't run at full body weight in months, now I was running a marathon under the effect of full gravity. Athletes even took time to tell me to update my blog more often while I ran by (does this long post count as 2?). To each and every one of you that offered me encouragement- you own a piece of this finish. You kept me fighting!
The tears returned when I entered the finish shoot. Yes, I found the finish line, but I was devastated. No other word comes close to expressing how I felt. My entire DWIT mantra was centered around this race. I was over an hour off the time I know I'm capable of. Scott Molina has been an awesome coach, and even through this injury he prepared me to accomplish my goal and my dream. 9th place. I fell short, I fell VERY short.
After finishing a long line of volunteers each congratulated me and said good job. This wasn't a good job, but their words meant a lot to me. They exuded the spirit of Ironman - and with it, gave me a reason to smile. This is why I love this sport, and this distance of racing so much! It takes a village. A member of the medical staff came over to me with a wheel chair. I asked how far medical was and when he pointed way down the street I surrendered and took a seat. I am a strong, stubborn girl. Asking for help isn't something that comes natural to me. My sitting in that wheel chair was almost a metaphor for where things stand with this injury. It's time for me to accept it, sit down, rest AND ask for help.

Was this my last Ironman, my heart won't accept that. In fact, a piece of my heart remains in Louisville, and I really hope to get back there to reclaim it! The injury has been diagnosed as sesamoiditis. This isn't some crazy career ending injury in elite runners, and it won't be for me. It is however something that I need to rest and take time to figure out. "Time" isn't something I have a lot of in my daily life. Who does, right?  I run from workout to work like my hair's on fire (even though it's usually still sopping wet). This has to become a priority. I will remain tenacious and will come back stronger. That last 13 miles provided all the inspiration I need to keep my DWIT attitude alive. I will have my day. To those who have and continue to support me along the way - I can't wait to thank you when my dream is realized! A bump in the road, but the journey continues. It's tough to write when it isn't all roses and sunshine, but injury is a reality in our sport. Ironman training demands that we beat the body down (to it's core), recover, and repeat. I've pushed hard, I will recover, and I will repeat. Next time in a far more dominating fashion!
My recovery started off in style. I left Louisville for a week at our family lake house. Thank you mom and dad for letting me be lazier than lazy!

Good luck to everyone racing this weekend in Vegas, and next month in Kona. Dream big, and Never give up!
-CG

Out for Blood

Beautiful Donner Lake - sight of a killer July 4th training wknd

Really? The year is already half over? I think back to the early months of the year and how excited I was to throw down some solid early season racing.  The opposite happened and instead of torching race courses around the world I felt like my body was on fire. Leading into Ironman South Africa, and thereafter, I was in search of answers. Cortisone shots and I.V. iron treatments were only band aides covering up the real issues that needed to be addressed.
Why was my body breaking down? Why am I feeling sick every day? Why do I take 800 times the daily intake of iron, but year after year find myself chronically anemic? This is one of those posts that I've thought about writing for months, but just haven't sat down to do it. After speaking with 5 girls in the last 2 weeks about battling anemia/low iron I couldn't wait any longer to put this out there.

Iron deficient anemia - if this is something you've struggled with I can relate, and honestly am not sure many people out there have battled this condition longer than I. Severe iron deficiency relates back to my days as a collegiate athlete.  Potential mano was blamed for a few fainting spells, even when I didn't test positive for the virus.  I covered up several signs of severe anemia, all in an effort to never show my coaches a sign of weakness.  After one grueling training session I completely passed out in the parking lot, only to be discovered by the Univ of Michigan athletic director. Not exactly part of his job description! but it sure did grab the attention of our team doc and make him look a little deeper into the issue. Iron levels were wicked low (12 is considered anemic. I believe I was hovering around 3!)
Fast forward 10+ years, and many of the same sensations continued. For instance, I've learned to become accustomed to a tingling arms and legs when I swim.  It wasn't until just before Ironman South Africa when I demanded a doctor order i.v. iron to hopefully get my iron to a non-alarming level.  This meant weekly visits to a blood disorder/cancer clinic to receive iron intravenously.
I sat next to other young females also struggling with the same deficiencies, but week after week became frustrated when they told me how their iron levels (hematocrit, hemoglobin, etc) were sky rocketing while mine were hardly creeping in he upward direction.
I returned from South Africa discouraged, but still determined to press doctors to find a reason. I'm sorry, but it is not normal for someone to digest iron at the quantity I do AND intravenously inject ferrous-sulfate into the body and hardly see any affects. It was if my words were falling on deaf ears.  The i.v. treatments made a small difference and got me on the right track.  Levels were still low for an endurance athlete, especially one pushing their body to compete at the level I do, but there was progress. (PS- if you're considering this your doctor has to show a history of blood work in order for insurance to cover it. Even with insurance paying the bulk of the expense it is not cheap!)

On top of the iron issues I was experiencing severe stomach/digestion discomfort. I gave up dairy about a year ago, but this only marginally solved the issue. Good bye beloved greek yogurt! Then during one of my iron treatments I met someone who could relate to EVERYTHING I was experiencing. For the first time I realized the following symptoms are NOT normal, nor okay:

• Numb arms and legs while swimming 
• Seeing stars on a very regular basis- at least 8 times a day
• Extremely poor night vision while driving
• Loosing most self awareness and cognoscente wherewithal after 3 hours on the bike
• Feeling like there were bombs going off in my stomach after most meals
• Often living in a state of fog. I can't describe it but as things got worse I started feeling like I wasn't really present and there was a sense of daze surrounding me
• Being asked if I'm pregnant on multiple occasions because of severe stomach bloating (yes the first time this happened I was mortified!)
• Exhaustion...not the normal kind that we all experience! I know how it feels to work hard, train hard, and attempt to live a life outside of both. This was not the same. I was dying-mentally and physically. 

Meeting this little angel of a girl amidst copper drips going into our veins gave me my first sense of real hope!  She suggested I go see her doc at the Stanford digestive health clinic.  We talked about what I was experiencing (see bullets above). For the first time I was talking to someone who didn't look at me like I had 9 heads when I described these feelings.  Her and her boyfriend gave me a hug, and with it a list of doctors she'd seen.  They both believed a diagnosis of celiacs was likely in my future...didn't sound fun, but finally there was hope! I needed an answer! (I had already seen 4 different gastroenterologist, or digestive medicine doctors-none of which told me that iron absorption could be tied to a gluten intolerance). I can't tell you how frustrated I was! but behind the frustration was a sense of urgency and desperation. I was sick of feeling this way. Off to Palo Alto I went.

Vineman70.3- the first race this season where I went in feeling healthy!

I walked into the office of Dr. Fernandiz-Becker with hope. She rattled off questions about symptoms that no other doctor had ever asked; questions I found myself answering more yes to than no.  Finally someone dedicated to finding the underlining cause, and not just a temporary band aid. I went through a few months of testing for celiacs disease, potential internal bleeding and other potential reasons for my inability to properly absorb iron.

 

Gluten - I always felt eliminating gluten was somewhat of a joke. If your body can properly digest it why go "g-free." Pure fad! I never thought I had an issue with wheat/gluten, etc but also wasn't well educated on the topic nor all the foods that contain gluten. By the time the test came back for gluten intolerance/pre-celiacs (not really a term, there is a lot of research still needed to determine vitamin/nutrient absorption for those without verified celiacs) I was already on a g-free diet. In fact going back on a 2 week gluten saturated diet before my procedures nearly killed me! By 3pm I couldn't sit in my desk chair any longer, and couldn't imagine having to get in another workout after work. I was lethargic and my intestinal track felt like it was at war with my stomach. Put that damn scope down my throat, take your biopsy's and get this crap out of my body. Gluten had to be 900% eliminated from my diet- STAT!

I already ate very clean and included very limited processed foods in my diet so although the change was tough at first it became easier. Now, 3 months into the g-free eating I can't imagine ever going back. I've been tempted with a few foods here and there, but ultimately I never want to feel the way I did. A slip up at a restaurant and I'm almost instantly on my way home to wallow in bed in complete discomfort.

I'm now getting a full iron panel test every month. July 2013 marked the first time in 10 years that my blood work didn't included a doctors note with the word "anemia" in it. Moral of the story- know your body, find knowledgeable doctors you trust, and fight for your health. The fact that I struggled with anemia for this long but was told time and time again to just "take more iron" is disgusting.  

I believe this gluten intolerance started years ago and may be to blame for my iron absorption issues, but really wasn't a game changer until last year. For a year I laid in bed every night dying to just fall asleep so my stomach wouldn't bother me any more. I thought it was the result of a diet packed with fruits/vegetables.  Wrong! Now that I know the root of the issue I can finally do something about it. G-free living, it isn't just a fad ;-) To those out there who really can't tolerate gluten I feel for you!

Never hurts to have some red blood cells in the body when it
comes time for my weekly Diablo mtn repeats.

This wasn't exactly the most exciting blog post, but if sharing this helps even a few of readers it will be worth it. 

In terms of racing, Vineman70.3 and Lake Stevens70.3 served as great training days for my next Ironman - Ironman Louisville. I've wanted to do this race for a few years and am very excited for this race. I enjoy a glittering of 70.3 races during my season, but Ironman racing is where I thrive.  

Battling a few demons on the LS70.3 run course.
Grateful beyond words to be back racing again...
All the while knowing my best is still ahead

Stay positive, keep believing and push yourself to new heights! No one exemplifies this better than our girl MBK, so I end this one with a huge shout out to Meredith for her back to back 70.3 titles at Vineman and Lake Stevens. A month earlier she lied in a hospital bed after a tough crash on the Eagleman bike course. Nothing is going to hold this girl down! Dreams realized...with more to come for this champ. Congrats my friend!

 

and so the race season continues....

Early/cold start at for Vineman

 Do What It Takes,
CG